One week ago, I had my last drunk… my last drunk so far… but who the fuck knows because I’m a fucking drunk. I drink until I act like an idiot, black out, and pass out. I’ve drank myself into jails, hospitals, rehabs…I’m afraid I may just drink myself to death. Nothing else seems to scare me except for death. The only reason I’m scared of death is because of my beautiful family. If I didn’t have my family then I wouldn’t even care about death. I don’t want to die…but thats where I’m afraid I’m going to end up if I don’t stop.
I’ve been sober before… 5 years sober and it was beautiful for the most part. In my sobriety, I gained a beautiful life that I destroyed with drinking. I’m starting this blog for myself. I mean, I honestly don’t know if anyone even reads these things or what a “blog” even is. This is just my little diary of a drunk girl who’s scared to get drunk and wants to get sober. I want what life has to offer me… the beautiful things that life has to offer.
I’m on day 7… I’m going to meetings, I got a sponsor, Just say a prayer that I don’t fuck this up. I’m good at fucking things up
I started this for selfish reasons, myself. I’ve never blogged or journaled a day in my life. I’m definitely not a writer. I just need a place to put my thoughts down and see my progression and regression as I try to get sober… one day at a time